Faith Over Fear

Here is An UNSCRIPTD Journey written by Kenneth Hicks:

It was the early evening of a weekday as I sat on my bed, beginning my homework for the night. I had my door open as I waited to hear my mom enter our apartment. She worked at the middle school I went to, so she would usually get home an hour or two after I did. Yet, she arrived a bit later on this day. I wasn’t very concerned about it, but I noticed the time difference.

Once she made it home, she came into my room to greet me. After the usual hug and questions about my day, my mom told me that she had gone to the doctor after work. After tests taken during a previous visit, it was discovered that my mom had breast cancer. I wasn’t well-informed about cancer at the time, but I knew it was something that threatened her life. That could have easily sent me into a panic since I love my mom so much and most of my life at the time depended on her.

Yet, what could have been the start of a lingering fear was instead a moment of reassurance. Immediately after saying what disease she had, my mom told me she was going to surviveand she did so with a calm confidence. No tears. No somberness on her face. No cracks in her voice. Just conviction.

She explained the treatments she would soon start and told me not to worry about how she’d be affected. I can only imagine how my mom first reacted to her diagnosis. But in that moment in my room, she showed faith in the face of uncertainty. A part of that faith was my mom’s belief in God, but another part of it was her belief in herself. For years, my mom taught me that the first step in achieving something is believing you can actually achieve it. She lived those words throughout my childhood, and she planned to do the same as she battled cancer.

For the next two years, my mom underwent chemotherapy and other treatments for her illness. She dealt with side effects throughout this time, but she continued to go to work everyday. She still cooked dinner every night, cleaned the house on the weekends and supported a lot of our relatives. My mom never lost her joy or her positive outlook on life. It would amaze me at times, but then I’d realize that my mom was dealing with cancer just as she told me she would.

My mom outlasted breast cancer, but her doctors eventually found that her cancer spread to another part of her body. She was then battling bone cancer, which took much more of a toll on her than the first bout. She had to take time off from work and needed more help around our home. In December of 2009, my mom passed awayspared from any more suffering.

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She didn’t get to live as long as she or I wanted her to, but she achieved things in her life that I can only dream of. The amount of strength my mom had inspires me everyday. I’ll never know what went through her mind each time she visited her doctors or spent time alone in her room. But I do know that my mom didn’t let any fears about her future consume her.

She lived through cancer for years largely because of her outlook on the situation. Her fight helps me put my trials in perspective. Whether it’s been a prolonged job search or a scramble for housing, I’ve known that I can make it through as long as I truly believe so.

Life will continue to challenge me with uncertainty. I choose to face it with more faith than fear, thanks to my mom.

This is my UNSCRIPTD Journey,

Ken Hicks Signature-1

Message from UNSCRIPTD: Kenneth Hicks, an experienced writer from the Bronx with a deep passion for music, has been published across multiple platforms. Check out some of our personal favorite articles of his at the following links!

The Wall Street Journal – https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-roots-of-a-life-on-the-road-1456249432

DJBooth – http://djbooth.net/general/author/316491

Blavity – https://blavity.com/how-do-you-age-in-hip-hop-the-tension-between-relevance-legacy

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2 thoughts on “Faith Over Fear

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  1. Kenneth,
    Margie was an incredible person who treated EVERYONE as if we were her family. I think of her often. Your mom’s biggest concern was always that you would follow your dreams and live your life to the fullest – I’m glad you are doing so. Peace – t.

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